Mom In Motion Study

So, people have been asking me how *I* have been doing.  And I'm fine, really, but I tell them I'm a little bored because I suspect that's what they want to hear.

Mostly I'm not terribly bored.  I mean, this isn't as intellectually stimulating as trying to get 26 adults to identify a thesis statement when they have no idea either what a thesis statement is or what it does despite their insistence that they have advanced high school diplomas, but I'm not horribly bored.  I've been able to write more, which is kind of awesome, and I'm getting a lot of good stuff done for Lulu, which is super-awesome.

Also, I've been able to clean out three closets. 

But since people wonder what I *do* all day, I thought I'd write it down.  Apparently, they think I simply wipe bottom, drool, and then sing ABCs.  It's close, but not quite. 

And so, I present to you, with only a little more ado, a Mom in Motion Study. 

To get you in the mood, you probably need to listen to this:



My day begins between 5 and 5:30am.  I wake up after some crazy-ass dream (last night, I dreamed we were living in a townhouse with a teeny-tiny yard, and we bought a horse) and check for breathing. 
   Me:  Check
   T:  Check.
   Lulu . . . . . . . . . come on kid, give me something . . . . . . . . . .  . . . . .Lulu? . . . . . Ok, Check.

Then I carefully get out of bed and head for the bathroom in the hall.  Then coffee.  And then?

IT'S MOMMY'S FREE TIME EVERYBODY'S ASLEEP HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Some mornings (in fact, many mornings) MFTEAH doesn't happen.  Some mornings Lulu wakes up before I can even get out of bed, so we go right to:

 

EVERYBODY IN THE BIG BED SNUGGLE TIME AWESOME HAPPY.

 

This will last until I get kicked in the face, or someone looks at the clock and realizes that if both adults wish to be washed and dressed this morning that we need to get up, or my bladder is about to give out. 

 

Then we get up and I get Lucy her morning beverage and pull her hair into her ponytail in case she decides to fight the medicine and we commence the medicine taking.  Daddy is normally in charge of this, because she fights him less, and I am not going to take away a job he is clearly better at than me. 

 

And then I bathe and dress and dry my hair and then we switch and I try to entertain a toddler while making the beds and dressing her.  Then we attempt breakfast, though we're rarely successful, especially after we've just shoved 3 teaspoons of anti-epileptics into her.  And then Daddy goes to work, and we cry, and then it's time to try to watch the weather forecast and get a nebulizer treatment. 

 

You should probably picture an adult woman trying to herd kittens into a sack with one hand.  It's a little like that. 

 

And then we commence to working on our homework.  Lulu needs to learn to:

   1.  Stack

   2.  Scribble

   3.  Walk up the stairs

 

These are hard things.  The stacking is coming along nicely -- we're up to three blocks.  We like to make some dots on the paper and then try to gnaw on our crayon and we ARE SO MAD when Mommy takes them away. 

 

The stairs are HARD, you guys.  There is this shit called gravity and it is a bitch.  Lucy can make it up a step, but a lot of times she can then fall off of said step.  She never gets hurt (it's really just surprise) but she gets really scared.  However, it's good for her, because she needs to understand that there's a certain amount of danger and risk in going up the stairs.  I just hope I'm not creating too fearful a kid. 

 

Anyway, then it's 9:00 and it is naptime.  So we lay down and I get the computer and I check my work email and my regular email and then I get to write. 

 

Dudes, I have been so prolific in the past two months.  I write a humor column for an online magazine, and I wrote two in addition to all of my blogging.  And I started a book, but then again who isn't writing a book?  But anyway, I get some stuff DONE. And I also do the laundry and prep dinner and race around doing, well, stuff during naptime. 

 

Then she wakes up.  Back to homework. 

 

11:30am.  Lunch!  Throw raisins on the floor!  Throw cheese on the floor!  Throw crackers on the floor!  Eat some carrots! 

 

12noon:  While Mommy is cleaning up, eat raisins, cheese, and crackers off the floor.

 

12:05:  Daddy give Lucy her afternoon meds.  Tears. 

 

12:15.  Sesame Street is brought to you by the Letter C, the number 8, and some the highest people EVER.  I'm waiting for a segment called "Puff, Puff, Pass."

 

1:15:  Naptime.  Back to writing, emailing, blogging, hemming pants, cleaning out a closet, etc. 

 

2:00:  Tell Lucy that she has not had enough nap.  Nice try.

 

3:30:  Shit.  Is she ever going to wake up?

 

3:45:  Hi, Baby!  Let's play!

 

4:30:  Daddy comes home!  Time to make dinner.

 

5:00:  Dinner!  Throw raisins on the floor!  Throw crackers on the floor!  Eat some beans!  Chew up a roll and spit it in Mommy's hand! 

 

5:30:  Fussy time.  Tired again.  Daddy reads books.  Mommy tries to figure out what to defrost for tomorrow's dinner. 

 

6:00pm:  All the books go ON THE FLOOR. 

6:10:  Lucy wants to read Humpty Dumpty.  WHERE IS HUMPTY DUMPTY?

6:12:  Lucy is sitting on Humpty Dumpty.  I attempt to explain how she can't read the book that is under her bottom.  Fail.  Tears.  I pull her into my lap for soothing and rescue the damn book. 

6:20:  We read Humpty Dumpty.

6:21:  And again.

6:22:  And again.

6:23:  And again.

6:24:  And again.

6:25:  I put Humpty down and tell Lucy to find another book.  She chooses Little Pookie.

6:26: We read Little Pookie.

6:27: And again.

6:28: And again.

6:29: And again.

6:30: And again.

We repeat with other books until 7:00.  Then we take meds and a bath and go snuggle in front of Jeopardy with some milk. 

8:00pm:  Brush teeth, bedtime.  Also baby's bedtime.  Yaaaaaawn. 

8:30:  TV.  I normally watch about half of a show and then fall asleep, which leads to some wonky dreams. . . . .